I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
