But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
