he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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