Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
