So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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