and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize