During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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