I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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