i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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