I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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