Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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