i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize