i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
