If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
