yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
