It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
