i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Who put my cat in the fridge?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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