I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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