My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
