He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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