'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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