I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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