this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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