Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?