I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm an idiot
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
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now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you had me at cake vodka
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.