Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?