i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up