You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
