Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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