In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my sisters under your porch take her home
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
