I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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