I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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