My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
