I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
