If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
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So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
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