playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
