i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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