she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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