Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
