It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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