Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize