All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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