i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
