no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
