We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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