I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The Olympian is in my bed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
