Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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