the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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