Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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