if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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