He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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