i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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