how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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