You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize