rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
