How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
