I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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