Already got asked if we're dating
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Randomize
